


sometimes I find myself drowning (even before I turn the shower on)

by Quagswagging



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hair Washing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Showers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23895076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quagswagging/pseuds/Quagswagging
Summary: “It’s… It’s a bad timing.” Max muttered, wanting to close the door. Daniel stopped him, touching his arm.“Maxy, I’m worried. Please let me in.” he whispered, brown eyes gentle and kind. Max swallowed thickly, pulling the door open further and nodding his head to allow Daniel inside.
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Comments: 12
Kudos: 177





	sometimes I find myself drowning (even before I turn the shower on)

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in my WIPs for aaaaaages and finally got around to finishing it! it's pretty much mindless fluff, but meh we could all use that right now.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Max sat on the sofa, his head in his hands. His phone laid discarded on the sofa next to him, still ringing every once in a while but Max was just ignoring it this time around. He felt nauseous, had been the past few days, and the phone calls were continuously making it worse.

He was trying so hard to be good, to be his champion his dad wanted him to be, but it was getting increasingly hard to keep on his feet under all the pressure. He was leaving his dream life, travelling the world, racing every weekend and living a lifestyle most people envied. But Max did not feel happy, or like he deserved everyone’s envy.

He never had a moment of free time, barely had a moment to himself, and was under the constant pressure to perform well. But no matter how hard he tried, he could not always finish first. 

From the moment he had gotten back to Monaco after the race, his father had been calling him nonstop, as had Helmut, and Christian. All of them wanted something Max, and Max felt too tired to give it to them. He couldn’t bear listening to their speeches, about what he had to change and what he had to do to get better. There was nothing else to give, he was maxed out (pun not intended).

He had picked up one call, from Helmut, the first day he had arrived back in Monaco, but he had been close to having a mental breakdown the whole time. He had been asked time and time again to explain why he hadn’t finished on the podium, heck why he hadn’t even gotten a top ten finish. But he had no answers for them, could only mutter his apologies time and time again.

But it was never enough.

He had ignored his phone the days after, not even answering any of the texts his friends sent him. Lando had called him a few times, and sent him invites to play games, but Max left him on read every time. Pierre had sent him videos of pandas and pigs, and while Max watched them all, he didn’t answer.

It had been three days now, and all Max had done was lay in bed in an attempt to block out the world. He had only gotten up a few times to get food or to pee, but even showering seemed like too much of an effort.

So when he had to open the door in sweatpants with chocolate stains and an old Toro Rosso shirt that was way too faded, he was more than a little embarrassed. He debated pretending not to be home, chances were it was either his dad or someone from Red Bull anyways. But he was pretty sure that if it was indeed his father, pretending not to be home would mean his dad would alert the police that his son had gone missing. (Not because he really cared if he lost his son, he’d only care about losing his prize pony.)

And so he did open the door, even though he hadn’t showered in days and he was looking more than a little worse for wear.

“Daniel.” he said, eyes widening as he saw the Australian on the other side of the door. Daniel gave him a gentle smile.

“Hey Maxy, can I come in?” Daniel said softly. Max blushed a bright red, looking down on his clothes. 

“It’s… It’s a bad timing.” Max muttered, wanting to close the door. Daniel stopped him, touching his arm. 

“Maxy, I’m worried. Please let me in.” he whispered, brown eyes gentle and kind. Max swallowed thickly, pulling the door open further and nodding his head to let Daniel in. Daniel moved past him and made a beeline for the sofa to sit down. Max noted he was carrying a backpack and a plastic bag with him. 

“I have some chicken and rice for us.” he said with a soft smile. Max nodded.

“I’ll get forks.” he muttered, walking to the kitchen and returning with both the forks and two glasses of water. Daniel still wore the concerned and worried look on his face, and reached out to place his hand on Max’s arm the moment he sat down.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Daniel asked softly. Max shook his head, looking down on his hands. Daniel nodded.

“That’s fine too.” he answered, before handing Max one of the plastic bowl of food.

They ate in silence, which Max was grateful for. He didn’t need anyone to feel sorry for him, he wasn’t worth it.

The moment they finished eating, however, Daniel gently nudged his shoulder against Max’s.

“Hey, not to be rude. But you should really take a shower.” he said gently. Max sighed.

“I know.” he muttered, feeling embarrassed. He was an adult, not a little child who needed someone to remind him to wash himself. 

“Come on darling.” Daniel said softly, taking Max’s hand and hauling him up onto his feet. Max meekly followed after him, not quite understanding what was going on. He drew in a breath when he realised Daniel was taking him to his bathroom.

“What are you doing?” Max muttered, pulling his hand away from Daniel’s. Daniel gave him a small smile, before turning to fiddle with the shower tabs. 

“Get undressed, Maxy.” he said softly. Max swallowed thickly.

“Are you… But we...” he tried, fumbling over his words. Daniel turned to look at him now, the warm water running in the shower already starting to make the room fog up. 

“It’s okay, I can leave.” he said with an easy shrug. Max sighed.

“No, stay.” he muttered, starting to undress slowly. He really didn’t want to be alone anymore. Daniel followed suit, pulling off his oversized sweater and shrugging out of his torn jeans. His thumbs were hooked around the waistband of his boxers, but Max shook his head. He wouldn’t be able to handle being bare around the Aussie right now. 

“It’s fine.” Daniel said with a shrug, taking Max’s hand and tugging him into the shower cabin. The water was comfortably warm, falling over Max in gentle streams. Max flinched lightly when he felt Daniel’s hands on him, but relaxed when he realised Daniel’s hands were rubbing body wash onto his skin. 

“I’m sorry.” Max muttered. Daniel frowned.

“For what?” he added, grabbing the shampoo to start working on Max’s hair. Max sniffled.

“For being such a mess.” he mumbled. Daniel sighed, gently squeezing his shoulder before continuing to massage the shampoo into Max’s hair. 

“You’re not a mess.” he answered. Max shook his head.

“I am. I have one bad race and I instantly forget how to function.” he sighed. Daniel swiveled him around now, tilting Max’s chin up to make the Dutchman look him in the eye.

“It’s not your fault. I don’t think it’s the race that made you react like this, right?” he said gently. Max sighed and shook his head.

“I just can’t deal with the pressure anymore.” he whispered. “I now I failed, but I can’t deal with everyone telling me that over and over again.” Daniel shushed him and pulled him close, and Max didn’t even have time to feel embarrassed about being pressed up against a half-nude Daniel. He sighed and nuzzled his head in Daniel’s shoulder. 

“You didn’t fail, darling.” Daniel whispered. “Don’t beat yourself up over it.” Max pressed closer to the Aussie, closing his eyes.

“You’re the only one who thinks that.” he mumbled. Daniel shook his head, pulling away.

“No darling, I’m not the only one.” he said softy. “Everyone was so worried about you. Alex, Lando, Pierre, Seb… All of them were concerned. Max smiled weakly.

“Really?” he mumbled. Daniel nodded.

“Yeah.” he answered, offering him a tender smile. Max smiled shakily in return, wiping at his eyes. 

“We better get out, the water is turning cold.” Max mumbled. Daniel nodded and turned the water off. Max had already stepped out and offered a soft towel to Daniel. 

After they were dried and both dressed in comfy (clean) sweats, they curled up on the sofa together. Daniel chuckled and ushered Max around until the Dutchman’s head was resting on his lap, giving Daniel the ability to run his fingers through Max’s damp hair. Max was close to falling asleep, eyes fluttering closed more and more often. 

“I love you Dan, you’re the best” he mumbled sluggishly, before stilling as he realized what he had said. He turned to look up at Daniel, who was looking down on him with a curious expression. “I… I really do... love you.” he repeated, shrugging his shoulder in apology. Daniel leaned down.

“I love you too.” he answered softly, bumping their noses together before drawing him into a soft, chaste kiss. Max sighed shakily, shyly returning the kiss.

“Stay here tonight?” he muttered, not wanting to sound desperate. Daniel grinned and nodded, giving him a cheeky wink.

“I want nothing more than to spoon you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: bwoahtastic


End file.
